🔥 THIS WEEK IN STARTUPS: Where the REAL Action Happened

Forget boring IPOs – this week was ALL about unconventional exits, brutal layoffs, and VCs throwing cash at anything that moves. Buckle up for the most explosive deals you NEED to know about:

“In turbulent markets, liquidity comes in unexpected forms – and this week proved founders are getting CREATIVE”

TechCrunch Deal Flow Team

💸 WHO GOT BOUGHT (And Who Got BURNED)

• MAINSTREET.COM ACQUIRED – Fintech domino falls as Employer.com scoops them up in $700M valuation play
• GENERAL FUSION LAYOFFS – 25% staff cut as fusion dreams collide with funding reality
• DATADOG’S SHOPPING SPREE – Gobbles up Eppo AND Metaplane to dominate observability
• CARTA’S M&A WHIPLASH Buys SimpleClosure after killing their own shutdown product

⚡ THE WEEK’S MOST SAVAGE DEAL TERMS

BluSmart’s investors basically said: “Here’s $30M… but only if the founder WALKS”. Meanwhile, Clay pulled off a slick $1.5B secondary sale – proving liquidity doesn’t always mean IPO.

💰 WHERE VCs THREW MONEY THIS WEEK

AI isn’t the only game in town – these funding rounds will make your head spin:

• NewLimit’s $130M Series B – Coinbase CEO’s longevity play gets KP backing to REVERSE aging
• Finom’s $105M Round – European neobank takes on Qonto with General Catalyst’s warchest
• Orca AI’s $72.5M Series A – Autonomous shipping tech attracts defense dollars
• Recraft’s Stealth Win – Their image model BEAT OpenAI… and just landed $30M from Accel

“When markets tighten, the BEST founders find ways to create liquidity without waiting for perfect conditions”

Sequoia Capital Partner

🌍 GLOBAL STARTUP SPOTLIGHT

Athens-based Marathon VC just closed $84M to back Greek startups going GLOBAL. Because innovation isn’t just happening in Silicon Valley anymore.

🚨 BOTTOM LINE

This week proved one thing: Liquidity comes in MANY forms. Whether it’s strategic acquisitions, secondary sales, or brutal restructuring – smart founders are finding ways to WIN in any market condition.

Which of these deals surprised YOU the most? Hit reply and let’s debate.